a candle

I will never understand human nature.
Why we do what we do.
Why we hurt like we do.
Does any of this really matter?
Inside I feel like all that matters is love.
My own actions have denied me this.
I don't think I will ever understand.
I am a train off the tracks,
A candle not quite burning.
I want to take back control, something I lost a while ago.
I let my life get swept away to a place I hate.
This lonliness feels eaternal.
Forgivness seems so far away.
I wish anything was possible.
I wish I could turn back time.
I will never understand this action and consequence, and how it is all my fault.