wonderland

i miss things like sleepovers and giggling
the feeling of wondering whether i'd get to see that boy today
and the rush of his simple "hello"
i miss this, before parties, drugs and sex
i miss staying up all night with my best friend
i miss having a best girl friend
one who gets me and everything i am
one who i can go shopping with and we both buy the same cd
one who can tell me if a shirt looks truly ugly
i miss the days of the killers and good charlotte
they seem to be the soundtrack of my happiness
when things were simple i could smile for hours
i long for things i've lost
i miss them as though they were dead
but i know they now belong to someone else
i miss being content in my solidarity
i cannot define the moment i began to want something else
i am and always have been a lone star
i even miss something i have, him...
my one and only, with me to the end
i miss his presence now when i am alone
i fear he too shall belong to someone else soon
and i have to add him to this list
i would miss him more than all combined
i miss feeling sure of everything around me
i miss being afraid of ghosts and monsters
i miss reading the same books over and over
to make the shadows disappear
i miss thinking i would live forever
i miss old wooden floor boards and my old cat
i miss my giant white teddy bear
i miss my grandparents and my winnie
these things don't belong to me anymore
i miss simple times, simple times in my purple dress...