Sunday, May 3
I saw a shooting star from the corner of my eye that night. It made me fearful you may be just as fleeting. You are far more beautiful than the star. Some things fit so into place with you it feels as if they had always been that way. Part of me knows everything cannot remain untouched and perfect no matter how hard I hope. Are we but a moment of fleeting goodness? I know our love could never be like that star, I know we can only grow each day to intertwine. Why do I question? Why do I doubt?
The consequences of giving everything are what I fear, because I have given before thinking. Blindly trusting in you and in us. I want to follow my heart over my head in this but I struggle.
Much more damaged, am I, than in simpler times. Lessons learnt the hard way have left their mark, still so pearl white and freshly healed. Only you see the pain underneath those scars. You see through them to who I really am and who I want to be. What I seem is not always the truth.
My fear lingers still, a fear you will cease to understand and see my true self, a fear I will be let go only to hold on. It is completely terrifying to every bit of me to imagine being without you. If you were to fade away, my only constant, I cannot imagine myself or my life.
I fear you becoming my shooting star, brilliant and wonderful, yet gone before I can grasp it.
posted at 7:11 PM